Having it all, then slowly watching it all die

I've reached a stage in life where I'm so content, that I feel like I have it all. A stable and loving relationship, a great drama-free family, great friends (finally!), financial freedom to some extent, and best of all, the flexibility of being self employed.

I'm past the days of being overly emotional, but I do admit my teenage years were trying, and the two years I spent working corporate jobs was unbearably depressing, it was difficult to even drag myself out of bed every morning.

That all changed when I finally had to do some soul searching and figure out what it was that would drive me in life, and make me happier. That's when I left the corporate world and became self employed.

It seemed like my world was my oyster - I felt I had a lot of untapped potential and was eager to release it without the constraints of being tied down to doing things the way other people wanted me to do them.

It was basically all high flying from there; the money I earned was finally inline with the effort I was putting in. I was seeing instant results, plus I had the time to pursue my dreams. This year I admit I felt like I was at the top of my game. I made my first car purchase; my lovely Volkswagen Polo, something I would never regret buying as its served me well. Then came my first property investment a few months later. I started feeling like I might be in a bit of a pinch, but then, as always, I was confident that as long as I kept making an effort, I would still be making money.

Now, ever since I started being self employed, I'm at an all time low. A big chunk of my income from my lip balm business is now coming to a halt, mostly due to my supplier's decision to double the retail price, making her product so uncompetitive in the Malaysian market, that no one wants to buy it anymore. It's not like she cares; I doubt that I'm a huge contributor to her business and its one market that she's probably willing to let go of.

Another big chunk of income came from my selling on a Singaporean shopping portal, and that was mostly due to the efforts of a very efficient and hard working account manager, who has since left the company. The result? I can't even log in to sell my products anymore, let alone have any chance of them being promoted. How about my eBay sales? Restricted. As eBay has super anal rules, I can practically only post up 6 auctions every month. How can that be effective?

What's frustrating more than anything, is that these three factors are totally beyond my control, and not having that control is what led me to being depressed when I was working corporate. It's the worst feeling ever, and I honestly feel like I'm back at the drawing board, analyzing what other potential businesses there are out there that I can conquer. But seriously with the loans and fees and what nots that I'm having to shell out cash for, I'm once again on a depressing uphill battle.

The most elaborate scam I've encountered

Have you ever felt that the people who fall for the typical scam (email scams, lottery scams etc.) are just stupid and ignorant, and deserve whatever they got for just being too trusting?

I felt exactly the same way, until my family fell for one of the most elaborate scams I've ever encountered, and it was an experience I just had to share.

My family was on holiday in Bangkok recently, and as most people know, there are scams that occur there, and are widely known if you know to research about them online before traveling there. My brother has been working in Bangkok for a good 3 months now, and even that wasn't enough to prepare us for what happened.

We were walking along the Langsuan road where our hotel was located, toward Central Worldfor shopping, when we were stopped by what we thought was a kindly man, who claimed he was a teacher at a nearby school. He suggested we visit the Lucky Buddha, which was only open once a year, and we were lucky enough to be around as it opens only for Chinese New Year. He offered to draw us a map there, but said if we would like to take a tuk tuk, he could negotiate a good rate for us, as most tuk tuks will overcharge for foreigners.

It just so happened that a tuk tuk drove past, which this man flagged down, and negotiated a 40baht return rate for us. We thought, ok what the heck, visiting a temple isn't going to cost us anything, and we ARE on holiday, what's the harm, since this kindly old man already took the trouble to negotiate a reasonable fare for us.

The tuk tuk took us to a really small, not impressive at all temple near a market, where we were met by a man with excellent English, who claimed to be a caretaker for the temple. The only thing strange we thought, was that his English had a Philipino accent. He explained all about the temple, including a brief explanation of how it was a feng shui temple, and one of the idols has a red stone on the forehead, which they call a Buddha's heart, as the highest form of feng shui is the balance of the self. My brother wanted to burn incense there, however for some strange reason he told us not to, as they were cleaning the carpet for a celebration there at night.

My dad casually mentioned, that there seemed to be very few people at the temple, for one that was open only once a year.

The supposed "caretaker" said the temple was open all year around, and it was the pagoda at the side which was only open to the public once a year. He led us there - it was very small and even less impressive. He asked us to go up the stairs, to a place of meditation.

Upon climbing the stairs, we were met by a startled man, who eventually warmed up, passed us a business card, and mentioned that he was a Singaporean here for the festival for the day, and that he was a successful businessman who won the contract to construct the infinity pool at Marina Sands Hotel, where his father won the contract for Suntec city. He mentioned that he comes here every year, as all those buildings contained the feng shui stones, and helped with his business. However, what was strange, was this "Singaporean" had a Philipino accent as well. He said we should have come earlier, as at 6am many successful Asian businessmen were here, as many as 5,000, including Lilian Too, which was his "friend". He then asked us to visit another building next to the temple, while he excused himself to answer a call. He talked loudly into the phone about flying back to Singapore that night, and about some other business deals that he would close upon reaching back home.

Upon exiting the pagoda, we were ushered into another building by the caretaker, where we were met by yet another startled man, this time dressed in a suit. This time, he was definitely Thai, based on his accent. He explained that he was there to teach the monks to pray, as commissioned by the king. He also said he was a lawyer, and was working for the department of international trade. He talked to us for about an hour, mentioning that his wife works for Thai airways, and how he had to travel often to China as they were opening the biggest shopping mall in Asia in Thailand and had to facilitate that project. He also mentioned that his mother couldn't walk, and his wife had encouraged him to buy some Buddha's Heart gems to help her. He mentioned he didn't believe in this kind of thing, however he bought it and his mother miraculously could walk again, and the doctors couldn't give an explanation on how that was possible. He said his son was always sick as well, and that after giving him a Buddha's Heart gem, he got better.

He also read our palms, telling us some pretty accurate things about our lives, and giving us some advice. He said he learnt palmistry and face reading from a master in China, and had decided to use his knowledge to help people. He said that my father was prone to black magic, and had bad blood, and should wear a Buddha's Heart pendant to help him. He mentioned that my brother and I were prone to spending, and should wear Buddha's Heart ring to block the money from flowing out. This prompted my brother to ask where to buy this Buddha's Heart; the man's reply? It's really rare and hard to obtain. He said the Thai people treasure it too much and the mine from which it was mined from closed down due to too many accidents. He said that if you brought the gem to China town, the vendors there would want to buy it off us. However, due to Chinese New Year, a jewelry shop that carries it, which isn't open to public as they only export their wares, was open and if we were intrested, he could write the address for us.

He did, and we went there, a place called E-centre, where the same tuk tuk driver took us. Mind you, the tuk tuk driver had waited for us for a good hour and a half, and was all smiles and asked us to take our time.

Once we reached E-center, we were met by a lady who asked how she could help. We told her we were looking for Buddha's Heart, and she mentioned that the proper name for it was orange sapphire, and she would take us to see some. Her English was excellent, and she said she had been working in this line for 40 plus years. After seeing a whole range of stones and jewelry, we actually settled for some - 1 piece for each of our family members, amounting to roughly RM9,000. The nice lady even said that due to the Chinese New Year holiday, they were having this promotion where they would let us use their van and driver to take us wherever we wanted to go for a whole day, which we accepted kindly and arranged for the next day. As most of the jewelry we wanted was either custom made, or had to be modified, we paid and left, as they would deliver it to our hotel.

The tuk tuk driver casually mentioned that if we wanted to eat, he could take us to a restaurant with good Chinese food, which I promptly objected to, as I personally had read up on seafood restaurant scams which tuk tuk drivers were in on. We requested that he take us back to where he picked us up from. Since this tuk tuk driver was really friendly and could speak good English, my brother wanted to take his phone number and call him again if he needed him. Usually tuk tuk drivers would jump at the opportunity, but this one was absolutely fearful. He was very reluctant, and said that the next two days he was taking his son on holiday outside Bangkok, but in the end he relented and gave my brother his number anyway.

Once we were back at the hotel, we decided to google Buddha's Heart, and to our horror, the only results we found were those saying that this was part of a gem scam. The modus operandi mentioned by many of the people who fell for the same scam was similar, if not identical. It was mentioned that this was all a ploy for jewelry stored to sell more of their wares, and the supposed Buddha's Heart gem was really just an orange sapphire.

Outraged, we sought to get a refund, and to all those who actually fell for this scam too, all hope is not lost, as we managed to get 100% of our money back, and I'll explain how.

My brother called the tourist police the next day, and they requested for him to make a report at their station located at the Ministry of Sports and Tourism. Once my brother reached there, the police called up E-center, and mentioned that we wanted a refund. They said that we could only get 90% of the money back, the remaining 10% they would keep for credit card charges and workmanship done. My brother refused to those terms, and the people from E-center went to the police station to pick him up back to their place for further discussions.

They put him in a meeting room and asked him to wait for their manager. After waiting for a few minutes, my brother decided to walk into their showroom and demand to see their manager. Since there were a few customers there, they were quick to respond so as not to cause a scene or attract too much attention, and the manager promptly went to see him.

They once again offered a 90% refund, of which my brother said he wanted PROOF that the credit card charges and the supposed "work done" if any, was really 10% of the cost. The manager then said he would refund 95%, to which my brother outright refused and asked for the full amount back. And with that, that was all agreed. They cancelled the charge to his card, and we left with a good lesson learnt.

Why I said this was the most elaborate scam we've fallen for, was that at no point were we actually forced to purchase the gems - it was our decision based on the information or half truths provided to us by a series of people we met that day. That in itself (the offer of information) is not criminal, and is also one of the reasons the Thai police cannot stop these syndicates or arrest them.

The only thing that can be done, is to spread the word of these scams in hopes that people wouldn't fall for them anymore, or if they unfortunately did, they would be able to get their money back if they wish to. Incidentally, 2 days later we visited the Grand Palace, and who should we meet there but the same tuk tuk driver which claimed he was on holiday with his son, picking up some me unsuspecting customers!

My countrymen are not courteous at all

Dear governments of the world,

I suggest not wasting anymore money on printing "reserved for the disabled, elderly, and pregnant" anymore, because from what I've observed, my fellow countrymen cannot observe, or choose to ignore such signs.

I apologize for their lack of courtesy, and reassure you that some educated ones (myself included) feel horrible that such travesties occur and are embarrassed by them.

Working class men fill up all the seats on the LRT and pretend to sleep, while the elderly and heavily pregnant have to hold on to the bars for dear life when taking public transportation.

The priority seats at the airports are filled with youngsters plugged into their gadgets, while women with wailing babies are forced to sit far from the gate.

I don't know why this is, but from my humble experience, this doesn't happen in other Asian countries. A highly sarcastic and angry post today, fuelled by my experiences traveling with elderly parents.

Oxen have bad tempers

I'm an ox. I'm born in the year of the Ox, AND I'm a Taurus (almost wrote Tauren, I have obviously been reading to many World of Warcraft books. Just for the record, I have the whole collection). So those traits unique to the oxen, probably means times two for me.

I have a double dose of stubbornness. But one supposedly oxen trait that I DON'T have - I am NOT patient. I have low tolerance towards practically everything I encounter on a daily basis. I cannot for the life of me, tolerate incompetence, laziness, inefficiency, stupidity, and KIDS.

In fact, I think my impatience actually fuels my temper. I don't usually lose it, but when I do IT'S BAD!!! No joke. I hate myself when I crack and all Hell breaks loose.

One such loss of temper occurred today, I'm still seething like mad from the cause of my anger, but as I'm sitting he typing, and feeling zen from blasting music from my phone, I'm starting to regret how I handled the whole situation. In fact, I'm almost embarrassed. ALMOST.

You know how some people say never to send emails when you're angry, and just let it sit for a day before re-reading through to judge whether it's effective? Yeah, well I don't do that, I just don't have the patience. You piss me off, you WILL have an earful from me. And I will nag and nag and nag and go on and on and on about the issue and you will never hear the end of it. What's worse, I will always bring in highly irrelevant issues into the whole argument, and at the end of the day, no one really knows what I was pissed off about in the first place.

Yup, that's me. I'm a bit psychotic, but at least I admit it. I'm not afraid to admit it, so I guess I'm not a total lost cause as of yet.

At the end of the day, I just want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry we argued about dog t-shirts, of all things. It sounds super ridiculous now, but I swear I was so mad. And to some extent still am. But I'll be ok, and look on the bright side, the best people in the world were always a bit quirky :p

Armholes, armholes, everywhere!

This short, and seemingly rather nonsensical post, is dedicated to armholes. Yes ARMHOLES - as of today, the bane of my already -very-pathetic existence!

Today, just because I'm a very nice, and obliging person, I heeded the requests of one seemingly potential big fish buyer. Now I've come across some customers who have their weird and wonderful quirks about them, but spend LOADS AND LOADS OF MONEY (!!) with me, and so I willingly put up with their very strange requests. Like they want their clothes rolled and not folded, or they want every piece individually gift wrapped.

Anyway, the big difference between those big fish, and this potential one I came across, is they actually paid me for their purchases before such strange requests were even dished out.

This one is small in size, and where people usually ask for the sizing of an item based on let's say, a UK4-6 or maybe the pit to pit measurement, I got asked to measure armholes, for quite a few items. Now many of my friends would have told me off and asked me to ignore the request like a normal human being, but hey, times are desperate. Potential sales is better than having none at all.

So I obliged. Grudgingly, but the conclusion is I obliged, and will regret having done so for the rest of my life!! Dramatic, I know!!

The end result: I got no sales. The armholes of my items were too big for her tiny armholes. Boohoo, lesson learnt :(

Almost got robbed - blah!

Ever since stepping out of the corporate world (I think it's been, 4 months?) I have had yet ANOTHER slap across the face on facing reality. This time I've learnt, it's a cruel, cruel world out there. I have lots more to say on that topic, but cutting to the chase, let me share my yet another awful experience at the shop.

This time, I was at Times Square, alone.

A Middle Eastern guy came into the shop to browse some t-shirts. He looked pretty well off, was wearing a nice long sleeved button shirt, almost business man like. But then again, looks can be deceiving. The weird thing was, he kept panning the shop, concentrating most on the ceiling.

"Gee, he looks like he's looking for a CCTV" I thought to myself.

I couldn't be more correct, and my suspicions were proven awhile later.

He pulled a shirt off the rack, and said he wanted to buy it. BUT he only just landed in Malaysia, and had ONLY USD. He then opened his wallet, showing a nicely rubber-banded stack of $100 notes (which I suspect were fake). So then he asked whether if he could pay me $100, could I give him the balance in Ringgit?

I said no. And asked him to go to a money changer.

He then said he wanted to see what Malaysian money looked like (wtf?!)

Feeling even MORE suspicious, but decided not to be too paranoid, I pulled out RM10 out of my pouch, and held onto it tightly for him to examine. He asked to see a RM50 note, and I showed it to him, holding onto it tightly again. He then asked me to show him a NEW RM50 note, while tugging at the old one in my hand.

He found out the hard way I wasn't going to let go of it, and proceeded to stuff his hand into my pouch and grab the stack of cash inside. I was outraged! Who on Earth has the audacity to do such a thing??

He started speaking in Arabic to me, trying to point out some things on the RM50 note he "supposedly" wanted me to see. And while distracting me, carefully stuffed RM300 from my stack into his pocket.

But not quick enough. I noticed, and since I was in a shopping mall, I wasn't afraid this time.

I pointed at his pocket and demanded loudly, "Give me back my money".

Luckily, he gave it back, and insisted he wanted only to exchange his USD with me. I asked him yet again to go to a money changer.

Apologizing profusely, he left.

I wonder how many other people he scammed. 3 things this time, tripped the alarm bells in my head:

1. Who checks out the damn ceiling in a shop?
2. If he JUST landed in Malaysia with no Ringgit, how on Earth did he end up in Times Square? Fly there? As far as I remember, technology here isn't that advanced that taxi cabs can accept credit cards.
3. A foreigner that has NEVER seen Malaysian money before, knows that there's a new RM50 note out. Wow, way to go, you psychic or something?

I was lucky this time, that I got my money back. And this lesson made me realize that I need to take more precautionary measures to prevent this and other unwanted things from happening in the future. For all small boutique owners out there, PLEASE take note and learn from my lesson.

Theft in our store - left me traumatised.

*Warning, long ass rant ahead*

Ok, I'm now going to relate to anyone who would listen, exactly what happened yesterday which has haunted me vividly until now. (Plus, writing is very therapeutic so yay for me!)

Two guys from Sabah, Malaysia came up to the shop.



A mish-mash of pictures. The shop doesn't look like this now, layout has changed.

Coincidentally, Gwee had to run off to the post office. It's Puasa month; they close at 5pm. So these two guys looked around, and one of them passed me two tee shirts - he wanted to buy them and paid on the spot and said,"I'll look around some more, but give me a big plastic bag. I'm going back hometown tomorrow and I want to carry clothes".

That was warning bell number one.

So I did. He went around and picked up another t-shirt, and this time paid too much for it. He asked me to keep the change first, as he'll pick out another shirt. He finally did so, but asked for me to put this last shirt in a different bag - it was for his friend. He took the big bag and proceeded to browse.

He then went behind a rack where he knew I couldn't see him from where I was and proceeded to open the plastic bag (rustling sounds, can tell) and supposedly "count off" how many shirts he had bought.

Warning bell number two.

I quickly rushed over to him, and found an empty hanger on the rack with "RM330" printed on it. I wasn't too sure what to do, and to make matters worse, a couple of his other friends came up at that time. I was sooo itching and dying to say "Let me look in your bag, I know you took my hoodie". But because I was worried about losing more than the hoodie (Maybe they would get violent? Rob me? Run away? I don't know but I didn't think at THAT time it was worth the risk), I didn't confront the idiot. A slight distraction by his friends asking about other clothes was enough for the guy to slip the empty hanger off the rack, pretending it wasn't there in the first place.

But it was too late. I knew he stole my hoodie.

They left. I contemplated chasing after them, confronting them in public to avoid any probable bodily harm, but I was in shock. I was still unsure of what tot do. And because of that shock, it prevented me from preventing a theft. I don't know whether it was out of self-preservation, or stupidity that I had let them get away with it.

I was alone in a 2nd floor shoplot with no one occupying the floors below, and workers occupying the floor above. I was alone, with 3-4 guys who were taller, and stronger than me. I did what I thought best at that time.

But that wasn't enough...I could have prevented it.

I will never stop hating myself for that, and I doubt I ever could. Gwee reassures me that the theft wasn't too big and at least I wasn't hurt, so that's alright. It doesn't, however, stop the deep, fiery rage that is slowly, but surely building deep inside of me. My dreams are filled with violence; my fury so blinding that I am only satisfied when these guys get their well-deserved retribution.

I understand there are several stages you go through when you have experienced something like this ie. trauma, but it looks like acceptance will be something I will never achieve. I am still distraught, and to be honest, I know this is a small and petty thing, but I WANT to see those guys get what they deserve, and I will stop at NOTHING to prove to them that they shouldn't have messed with me...

BOYCOTT - Ai Yi Ping Seaweed Jelly!!!

You know how the "pasar malam"s (night markets) in Malaysia (or maybe Selangor, I don't know) usually have the same vendors, rotating to different locations on different days of the week? Well, there was this one incident that occured with one of those vendors maybe 4-5 years ago which I've never forgotten, leading to this post.

There is this one particular stall that sells maybe the best tasting "ai yi ping" lime flavoured seaweed jelly drink around. I've been searching all over the net for at least a picture of the stall, but either there isn't one available, or my Googling skills are awful.

Anyway, back to the story and the reason for my boycott.

One fine day, my family and I were walking around the SS13, Subang Jaya pasar malam, and as usual we wanted to get our jelly fix. Now this stall sells their drinks in styrofoam bowls only, and not in cups (do you know which one yet?) as they say you can't enjoy it as much by slurping it through a straw, something about not getting the right amount of each ingredient in each sip.

So my mum orders two bowls, from a man that was working there. Maybe a relative or the husband of the lady that's usually there.

Then my mum looks up and sees their sign, with all their prices on it, "Wait! There's an option to have it in a cup!" so she asks the guy to change the order to just one cup, easier to bring away and drink. However, in fine print, it says that the cup is for "Green tea flavoured seaweed jelly".

I pointed this out to mum, who obviously doesn't want green tea flavoured, as we came for the original, told the guy to change back to the original order.

With that, the guy threw a bloody tantrum. He said my mum was being difficult, REFUSED to serve her and asked her to get lost.

Being young and naive (and very timid during that time), I did nothing. I wish I had said something to him at that time, I wish I had made a big fuss in front of every single one of their customers back then. But I didn't, and I regret that.

Obviously, we both were pissed. Here was this stupid, fat man, waving his finger rudely at my mum, red-faced and telling her to go away. The lady boss quietly asked the man to not be so angry, but besides that, she did nothing.

Thus, the reason for my boycott. If you know which stall this is, PLEASE do not buy your drinks from them (they are the ones that sell the green tea ones in the cup!)

Being in my line of business, I know how important it is to keep a good reputation. Customers are always right. What on EARTH was this man doing? Who did he think he was? There was a long queue behind us, for goodness sakes, if we didn't want what he had already made, then someone else would have wanted it - no wastage involved.

I feel that my mum was not in the wrong - she was merely trying to order something that she wanted. Isn't that a consumers' right?